The Vegan Conspiracy Theorist.

Have you ever dated someone that was the complete opposite from you? I once dated a guy who was a vegan. I’m not a vegan, I eat just about everything. I’m all about being healthy and aware of what goes into my body though so I didn’t think it would be as challenging as it was. He just eats plant based foods, that’s not such a big deal, right? Well after awhile it did become a big deal. The more we went out the more I realized we were living in two different worlds and there really was no middle ground. Being vegan is not only a dietary choice, it’s also a lifestyle choice. Some people may overlook that fact or even confuse vegan with vegetarian.

One night we decided to go out for dinner and I suggested this vegan restaurant on my side of town. (I actually really loved the place, fresh made juices, smoothies quinoa bowls and even yummy vegan desserts!) So we sit down for dinner and look over the menu. He doesn’t see anything that looks appealing to him. He was pickier than I thought. I mean shit, being vegan is already so limiting. Our server came by a few minutes after we set our menus down and we order our food. We ended up getting the same thing, some mushroom and spinach dish. I can’t quite remember what all was in it though. Once she returns to the table with our food he stops her briefly to ask if any of the food has been microwaved…long pause…”No sir, everything is made fresh.” I smile at her and she walks away. He goes to take a bite of his food and IMMEDIATELY spits it out into a napkin. I was horrified. I asked him if it was too hot and he said no. He then said, “I just don’t like it.” What in the hell. So I tried my food and I thought it was great! I’m really not hard to please when it comes to food though. I then asked him if he wanted something else and he shook his head no.

The next time we went out we went to a Mexican restaurant that also served vegan/vegetarian food. We sat down and I had a drink and he didn’t because, along with being vegan he also doesn’t drink. (Vodka is made from grains for those of you who are wondering.) When the server came by to take our order he asked for these vegetarian burritos and I honestly don’t remember what I had but it was probably something in that category.

The server came back with our food and it looked pretty good. He took a bite of his and then just kind of picked at it while I ate my food. Finally I asked him how his was and he said it was ok. He barely ate any of it. We got the check and left.


We went back to my apartment and I was putting something in the microwave. He started telling me how he never uses the microwave because of the radiation. Then he went on a rant about how the contrails from airplanes are actually chem-trails and he doesn’t have a TV in his house because he thinks the media is trying to brainwash us.

Im surprised he even had a phone because we all know the government is listening to us. (Only half-joking on that one. )

I guess the point I’m making is that lifestyle is actually incredibly important when choosing a partner. People always say opposites attract and that’s true, they do. But the majority also don’t stay together because somewhere down the line they find they have nothing in common. And while I didn’t see his dietary choices as a dealbreaker it was everything else that came with it. I did everything he didn’t do and I had no plan on changing. Neither did he.

4 responses to “The Vegan Conspiracy Theorist.”

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